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A Better you – Sustained and eventually Reinvented (Part 2)

A Better you – Sustained and eventually Reinvented (Part 2)

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So, I mentioned in part 1 the joy we feel when we don’t give up. We find ourselves at our wits end, thinking the joy will never come. And then, along comes the breakthrough, pulling us out of the depths of despair. We are made whole again. Sustained, renewed, and many times reinvented, to the point where we are better off coming out than we were going in. Who we were when we began our walk through the tribulation, we find coming out, we are made brighter, shiner, happier than before.  Gods unfailing love and mercy rescues us, we brush off, and continue our journey. But after all the “Dear God please help Me’s,” and our prayers being answered…, do we just walk away until the next tribulation comes to surface? Because if we did, without being consumed with the urge, after the fact, to draw ourselves closer to him, if only as an act of appreciation, then I would say it was all done in vain and with a negligent spirit. Negligent in giving honor to Him, the one who has set us free. The one who has taken the time to answer our prayers, send mercy, and forgiveness of all we have done. Negligent, to He, who has directed our path and made us whole. Or lifted us and gave us strength to sustain and strengthen us so that we would endure whatever it was we were going through. For to come out of these things and not have the urge to be jubilant. To be grateful… To be out of our mind with praise to Him, for saving us from what could have been, to what it is now, it would be very much so negligent on our part. In Isaiah 58, The Lord states when he restores us, all the mountains will be made into roads to walk freely as we wish. Compassion will follow us wherever we go, so that we will lack nothing.  And the heavens and earth will shout for joy and burst into song because they have seen and experienced this compassion. For how could anyone feel any other way once experiencing His goodness, and not be mindful of His love, and because of it be joyous? Our spirit would have to be either so caught up in the world, it passes us by, or the experience so menial in our own minds, it doesn’t even hit us. Calling on God to help us through the tough times in the midst of the chaos, should not be taken for granted. We miss the essence of it all. The reason for the tribulation. The opportunity to be jubilant. If not for the fact, He, being such a forgiving God, knowing our shortcomings, yet choosing to help us anyway. Because we are His children. But if we are his children, we must then help others. Though our praise is like fruit of the lips to him [Hebrews 13:15], it is said not to forget to help others. In Matthew 9:13 it is explained the desire of the Lord is for us to have mercy for those who do not know Him. Not so much that we give our praise as a sacrifice of ourselves, but that we show mercy to others. An unselfish desire from our father, to want for his children to be taken care of rather than to receive praise and honor for His own mercies which He bestows upon us.

 

We can call on him all day, but if we are not living, or at least trying to live as an example of the living God, he will not hear. In Isaiah 58 it explains we cannot ask God to help us if we turn our back on others. If we have no compassion for His children, He will not be as quick to have compassion for us. If we go to church acting as though we are God like, but once we feel no is watching, do otherwise, He will not hear our cry. It continues to state once we have chosen to compassionately help others, it is “[t]hen [our] light will shine like the dawning sun, and [we] will quickly be healed. [Our] honesty will protect [us] as [we] advance, and the glory of the LORD will defend [us] from behind. When [we] beg the LORD for help, [H]e will answer, ‘Here I am (Isaiah 58:8-9)!’” And [H]e will bring [us] through the fire, without scorch and fully restored.

 

God is merciful to all. But when those who are called walk in his ways, and show the same compassion and mercy for others, which He has given to us, not only will He be our refuge and shield, but our restorer of all that needs to be restored.

 

CWB

    A Better you – Sustained and eventually Reinvented (Part 1)

    A Better you – Sustained and eventually Reinvented (Part 1)

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    The most interesting compliment someone ever said to me was how good I was at reinventing myself. This person, as my mentor, worked very closely with me as I began accepting more challenging roles in my career. Unfortunately, at the same time, I was also having additional challenges on a more personal level, both physically and mentally. Be it as they were challenges, they felt unlike any other challenge; almost as if they were determined to destroy me. And although my mentor was not aware of the facts, but able to see my outward appearance, I imagine he realized, whatever I was going through, I was handling it with great stride and coming out of it, as it seemed, better than when I had begun. Since then, his words have stuck with me as I had a great deal of respect for him. Little did he know that it wasn’t me reinventing me, but God. Because while encountering all these challenges which I felt were more than enough for me to handle, I was praying, God please help me get through this, or better yet, show me how. And God was there for me, through every challenging experience.  With prayer I believed anything I encountered would be made sustainable with the power of prayer and perseverance. I believed I would shine yet again as this too passed. I persevered and became stronger.

    Today, as I look back and remember all what I have been through…, on a personal level. Not so much in regard to relationships, though He had a hand in them as well, as He watched over the decisions I made, or the difficulties I encountered when relating with others. But personally…, me developing as a woman, and as his child. As his faithful, obedient, and confident child. I rediscover, today, my reinventions in myself and think, as so many of us do, where would I be if it were not for his grace that carried me through those difficult times.  The times when the demons were running through my mind trying to scare the bugeebees out of me. The times when I felt everyone was against me. The times when I felt so unattractive because my hair was falling out due to my physical health challenges; through the tears I’d call on God to ask Him to help me comb my hair. Yes, comb my hair! To sustain me for that day so I could look presentable long enough to go to work and hurry back home to my sanctuary. No one truly knew my pains and sufferings… But if it were not for God and He continually instilling the love of self in me, letting me know I would get through with his grace, it could have been me taking my life as I have heard so many others do when they were at their wits end.

    God is our refuge and our strength always ready to help in times of trouble [Psalm 46:1]. God is with us every step of the way. My heart goes out to those who are unaware of the effect He can have on their life. I called on Him for my hair! Which is so remarkable to me still, as I look back. I mean He literally gave me ideas of what I needed to do to restore my womanly glory. For many would think it vain, but for my God, He saw that however trivial to some, I was in need of help from Him. And He came simply because I called with mustard seed in tow. For Him, it was the compassion of a parent seeing their child in distress, if not but a simple booboo as we would say, for that child it was devastating. For me, I understand the brutality of going through situations where you could not even imagine it changing. We feel for that moment, our yesterdays are gone, as well as our hope, and we are left with the feeling of nothing… But if we remember to hope in the Lord, and let the holy spirit be our guide, we are able to persevere through anything. David proclaimed he always envisioned the Lord before him, and because of this he was always happy, in good spirits and rejoicing in song (Acts 2:25-26). When you have Jesus always on the forefront, and He sees this He will never cease to amaze you with his wonderful works. It’s like following behind your father as a young child and watching him do amazing feats that you know you could never do in your own strength because you are so small compared to him. And your father so excited that he can show you things. Proud to be the center of your attention, impatiently showing you all he can as he watches you with love, take it all in as you grow in to the amazing person He is well aware you are able to become.  It’s amazing the relationship we can have with our heavenly Father when we let Him in our lives. I am in such awe of his goodness, and constantly saying how awesome He is and has shown Himself to be in my life. The littlest of things He does for me, amazes me, to say the least.

    I recently tested whether, or not it was really Him creating these miracles in my life. My fiancée and I were going through some tough times where he had suddenly stopped telling me he loved me. So, during that time I began to, of course, doubt his love for me. Well long story short, miraculously things began to turn around. The relationship was amended, and to top it off, he also began to say, once again, I love you. But this time much more frequently than I was used to receiving. Like every day, which made me think, “Ok…, did he have a conversation with my Mom, and by her suggestion, began this amazing feat, or was this by the hand of God.”  For a good while I just accepted it. It was wonderful to hear. But then I thought, good Lord, if this is just because someone egged him on, and not from his heart, this can’t be good. And then it began to sound really genuine. And yes, it should always be genuine, but you know, some men would rather not say it at all, much less say it with feeling. You may get a mumble every now and then, but it’s always as if they are participating in some ritual extraction. So, I said God, if this is your doing please give me a sign. And guess what happened, the next morning no I love you. I was like a wimpy kitten. And I don’t even like cats…. But I wondered, where’s my I love you, and then I remembered with amusement the question I asked only the day before. I said Ok, Lord, I won’t complain, but please fix it back to the way it was when he was telling me he loved me every day. And lo and behold, the next morning, like music to my ears, the sweet “I love you” resumed as usual.

    But my greatest lesson in all this is to never give up. I recently went through another episode of what I would call Life’s most devastating moments and was calling on God everyday asking Him to help me. After so many tries or attempts at what I had preoccupied myself with, I was truly about to give up, when a voice egged me on to try one more time. Little did I know that had I given up I would not have known the next attempt would be the reward. We hear others say it all the time, but we never really experience that ‘Aha” moment, until it has happened to us. I understand how one can give up. And the frustration that would impel someone to give up just before the breakthrough. We think it insane from the outside looking in, but it’s not really. Especially when your fighting with the dark, in the dark, trying to stay encouraged. But now I also know the blessing when we have faith and call on Jesus, or simply give it to Him. The overwhelming unbelievable joy you feel when you can breathe a sigh of relief that you made it through. But not only have you made it through, you put up a fight on purpose. Determined… I’ve had situations where I was so busy, God had to have taken the reigns in order for me to have come through the amazing feats I encountered. And He does, at times. Think of car accidents that were prevented. You don’t even know they’re coming. But He watches over us in all circumstances. But the times when you are in the midst. When you see and feel every wrenching attribute which is determined to make your life a miserable hell. That is when the good fight and its passing is a testimony that will last a life time. You were fighting in the midst of all the chaos and came through. Better than you were when you started. Brand new and reinvented with the help of God, Jesus, and the holy spirit all wrapped up in one.

    CWB

      He heals and restore – Because He loves us… & He is our Father

      He heals and restore – Because He loves us… & He is our Father

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      God is an awesome God. I do not know how He does what He does, or why He is doing, what He is doing in my life, but I am grateful. Well…, I guess I do know why. Because He loves me. If taken note, we can see the many times, He has answered our prayers. He loves the humor in it all. It brings Him joy to see our faces, when we realize just how much He loves us. When we let go, and rest in Him, knowing He has it all under control. When we realize we are special, and important to Him. When we put all our cares, and trust in Him, He then touches every area of our lives. He will be our healer not only to our physical being, but to our mental being. And with that, it enables Him to restore our relationships, as well as any unwanted inconceivable situation we find ourselves. He is a restorer to all aspects of our life… big, and small.

      In our life, unwanted circumstances, when governed by our flesh incite disconcertment. We lose it…  All bearings, beliefs, and pottered being…, gone. Suddenly our lives are uncontrollable, spiraling into the walls of despair, with no opportunity to turn left, or right. God has formed you into this incredible being, and then inconvenient circumstances take it all away. We could try to change the circumstances, but what good would it do. Whether the fight be with man, or darkness, we should, instead, turn to God in prayer. In Psalm 37:4, we are told if we ponder on the word of God, and sanctify ourselves with the renowned goodness of God, He will then give us the desires of our heart. This holds true not only to our well-being, but the well-being of others. We should pray for those we encounter when their situations seem chaotic, or inconceivable. In Hebrew 4:16, it says let us approach God with confidence, so that we will receive the grace, and mercy of God when we are in need of His help. He can change hearts. And sometimes, in His own cognizant, He will intercede without the encouragement of our prayers. Out of love and concern, He will make our wrongs right. In Ezekiel 36, God, so frustrated with the Israelites, decided He would punish them no more. Instead, because of their ungodly behavior, He would show them, He is God, and change their hearts. They would look back, and see how shameful they had become within their actions, and, or way of life. If God can change the heart of a nation (which I believe He is doing today with all the scandals of sexual immorality), He can change the hearts in relationships. The how is in His almighty power. He has a pocketful of miracles for our problems, and unwanted situations. In Jeremiah 33:3, God spoke to Jeremiah and said, “Call to me and I will answer you, and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” God sees, and knows all. So, we need not fear our circumstances, if we trust and truly believe in His mercy. Nor should we be afraid of His powers, all though it can seem eerie when He whispers secrets no one knows, or healings from impossible feats of reality. At times It scares even me… but I remember He is my father. He not only loves me, but will protect me, so I need not fear of His whispers, or what His course of action will be.  I simply abide in Him… Trust Him and wait on the holy spirit for guidance. I bear fruit. Like the fruit of the tree, it just appears. I abide in Him, and He gives me perfect peace as my mind is stayed on thee… not just on Sunday…but Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. He loves me. That’s it. Pure love.

      If we trust Him too heal that which is unrelenting, we can trust He will keep us safe, and help us when we need help. Relationships and unwanted encounters, or situations are always difficult to endure. We need Him in our lives. It is impossible to stand the test without Him by our side.

      CBW

        Selfless Acts of love …

        Selfless Acts of love …

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        It is true, God is the only one who is authorized to judge. It is He who orders the steps of others. Sees their hearts. Knows the effort and difficulty taken to do what is right. But it is also he, who orders the steps of others to be the vehicles to assist, in that journey. God will use us to move them, with intercession, in the right direction. But I feel, He will only use us, if He knows in our hearts we will not judge. That we will do it with a kind heart… We should always question our motives. “Is this being judgmental?” Am I doing this because it is something I want to do, or did God assign this to me? In our hearts, we should always express love, kindness, patience, and empathy towards those who are not as fortunate. In this way, we are instrumental even before God prompts us to intercede. Even if we endure adversity through this intercedence, we should love them anyway because we know that is what God would want from us. In 2 Timothy 1:8, Paul explains how we must endure these afflictions, with the power given to us by God, for the sake of the gospel. And in enduring theses afflictions He will not leave us in this moment; He has called upon us to do his works. Yes, intercessions can sometimes cause pain. And pain creates fear due to the power it has over your mind. But praying unceasingly helps immensely. God carries the weight.

        Prayer preoccupies your mind from the hurt your feeling. As it is said in 2 Timothy 1:7, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, and timidity but of power, love, and self – control”. Unselfishly, for others we must be strong, for we are called to make a difference. God places us in their life for a reason. Ever heard that saying, some people are in our life for a season, some for a reason, and others for a lifetime. I wonder if those seasons were mere misunderstandings, or excuses to give up. Were they times in our life when we did not understand selfless love. The process of truly loving someone, unconditionally, as we would want them to love us, despite the pain it caused. We must be mature in our quest, if we want to be effective. Yes, not everyone can be in our life for a lifetime. Not everyone can be saved, but surely, if we make the effort to be God like, we can accomplish more than we could if we had not made the effort at all.

        Confusion can overcome us all. We blame God for our tribulations. We find ourselves not trusting God like we should because of the tribulations. Throughout our walk there is always someone in need of support. The restlessness of their supposed torment is like the thief in the night. Taken hold of their trust in God, without them even realizing it has been stolen. Diminishing their faith, while all along, leading them back to their original nature…, sin. No more sin. In 1 Peter 4:4–14, Peter ironically points out, if we are going through pain and suffering in our journey, then this is good. We are right where God chooses us to be, in the thick of it. The pain only matures us with the understanding, we can be free from sin if we stay strong and do not look back.  If we would place ourselves in the shoes of Jesus, imagining the pain and suffering He underwent, we would gain the courage to endure it. It would have been simple for Him to give in and be driven by the flesh. To have chosen life without suffering. But this was not his choice. He trusted his father, despite what his circumstances predicted. The core of our faith must be to trust and believe in His authority over our life. God, thank you for helping me to put my total trust in you, and not return to my old ways of doubt.

        I do believe, now that I know the spirit which lies in me is real, and powerful; and my faith has increased considerably; I could have done a lot better in my latter years, had I known. Had I been aware of the authority God placed in me, I could have used it, to make better, situations which were entrusted to me. Approaching matters with a greater peace. Swaddling them with understanding. Many people may not understand the spirit, and how God wants Him to move in the lives of others. It’s deep. Just as deep as having the courage to believe in someone, or something which occurred so many years ago. Jesus healing the sick; raising people from the dead. But courage makes us strong, as a parent, as a spouse, as a friend, as a Christian. I now entrust God to lead me, so I can enable others to be encouraged as well. To be mighty in the kingdom, even if it means enduring a little suffering for the cause.

         

        1 Peter 2:21 – 25

        21 God called you to endure suffering because Christ suffered for you. He left you an example so that you could follow in his footsteps. 22 Christ never committed any sin. He never spoke deceitfully.23 Christ never verbally abused those who verbally abused him. When he suffered, he didn’t make any threats but left everything to the one who judges fairly. 24 Christ carried our sins in his body on the cross so that freed from our sins, we could live a life that has God’s approval. His wounds have healed you. 25 You were like lost sheep. Now you have come back to the shepherd and bishop of your lives.

        CWB

          For the weak, and proverbial people # Stay strong

          For the weak, and proverbial people # Stay strong

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          Prior to my writings, I tend to jot down notes related to my subject matter. God moves me in the direction I should go, using devices such as scripture, or inspirational writings. Today, when revisiting my notes, I was confused as to which direction I had initially intended the piece to evolve. It was intended to be a piece regarding the difficulty in being a proverbial woman, but after reading the scripture, I had no insight on the matter. The guidelines according to scripture seemed straight forward. They were not unreasonable. So why had it been a questionable subject matter for me the week before? Still, not quite understanding the why of it all, I went to my bible app. I thought, maybe because I’d read it in one of those standard archaic versions, that this was the reason for my uneasiness relating to the subject, and why I felt it to be challenging. But still, nothing…  I then remembered how God, lately, was teaching me the art of submitting to my significant other, and so read Ephesians 5; but still again, nothing. Digging deeper, I recalled that week, I had also consulted the internet, and came across a blog written by a young woman who wrote a piece on “10 virtues of a Proverbs 31 woman”. It wasn’t until reading the note towards the end of her blog when the uneasiness, emerged once again. She shared how her husband had become ill, and out of frustration from his illness, was relieving his frustration onto his family, which in turn was making her home a not so happy one. And then it hit me. It wasn’t so much being a virtuous woman that was difficult, but the mountains that came against a virtuous woman, when trying to keep her home happy.

          My whole reason for blogging is because for some of us, life can be merciless. And if we are not grounded in some way, or another, it can take its toll. If I’m in a crowded room, I will befriend the person who is sitting by themselves, or who appears sad and alone. In Philippians 2:4 it says, “Look not unto your own interest but to the interest of others.” The funny thing about it, and what I just come to realize, I do this automatically. And it can be annoying at times. Who wants to always see the sadness in others. But this is part of my calling. The enjoyment of it all is watching someone light up when seeing the conversation has moved them in some way, by putting their life into perspective. But not all people have it this easy. Some of us have a whole lot going on, where simple conversation just won’t do. Sometimes the pain is buried so deep, one sit down, just will not do…

          I came across a book I bought for myself a long time ago called “The highly sensitive person,” by Elaine N. Aron. I had forgot all about this book, but obviously, at some point in my life realized my shortcomings. I am a totally different person now. I still have my sensitivities, but I don’t display them for target practice. Or at least, if it is used for target, it no longer pierces my heart. With the help of both my Heavenly Father, and my earthly father, I learned that I was born a strong woman, and should not take to abuse when exploited. But as Paul discovered in 2 Corinthians 12:10…, even though we may endure unpleasantries, when we stand with God, he gives us the strength to persevere. We become stronger, despite our sufferings. His spirit enveloping us, makes us strong. And so, with this strength, we should then use it to help others. In Romans 15, it explains we shouldn’t shy away from helping others when they are weak. Their weakness merely represents the lack of spirit in their own life. If through our shortcomings, we are made strong, this honor is a gift to be used wisely. Not in vain, but to be used to help others be strong.

          Being exploited, in any way, where you are at a disadvantage clearly marks you as vulnerable, and unfortunately labeled as weak. So many of us encounter situations, or are in relationships which at times can be trying, or uncomfortable, to say the least. But when we find ourselves in positions such as these, it is time to yield the virtues of a Godly person, and persevere. Thessalonians 5:15 says, “encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, and be patient with everyone.” In effect, pray for those who persecute us, so they may be made strong as well…

           

          Colossians 3: 12-17

          12Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, 13bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if someone happens to have a complaint against anyone else. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also forgive others. 14And to all these virtues add love, which is the perfect bond. 15Let the peace of Christ be in control in your heart (for you were in fact called as one body to this peace), and be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and exhorting one another with all wisdom, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, all with grace in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

          CWB

            To Tell the Truth

            To Tell the Truth

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            When we confront others with the truth, you never know how they will receive it. Just the other day, my daughter thanked me for my honesty towards a situation, in how her approach, when struggling through her teenage years a while back, appeared distasteful. We joke about it (now that she understands), but she struggled with it for quite some time. She didn’t fully understand the severity of it all. We often reminisce of her years growing up as a child; and she shows appreciations towards my parenting skills. This was not the first time she revealed her gratitude regarding this particular subject. And again, I believe because it took much time to comprehend, is the reason she revisits it often. Not to mention, the humor of it all. When she first revealed her gratitude, I, myself was grateful just knowing I’d helped her. In all honestly, at the time, I merely thought my actions were that of a mother looking out for her child. I didn’t want her to continue to think, her mannerisms were ok. I felt like she needed guidance. It kind of threw me off guard this time though, when we reminisced. I imagine, my being in such a different spiritual place, than I had been previously, made me think, or rather question my choice of words. And not that they were harsh, just very explicit, and to the point. This time, though, when she stated her gratitude once again, I was grateful my words didn’t maim her. Words can be so harmful if received out of context, or distributed with the wrong intent. If it were not for her knowing, unequivocally, my intentions and the magnitude of my love for her, she honestly could have taken my words out of context. It was not said in malice, but out of love. I always wanted her to make her own choices in life, but I felt to do this, she needed to understand how her actions might affect her life, as well as those around her.

            In relationships, we may jeopardize its endurance when we introduce honesty into the playing field. But if we use the word of God as a foundation for our intentional truths, and pray, we must trust that God will do the rest. As written in Psalm 32:8, He will instruct us, and teach us the way we should go in a loving manner. I believe that if we come from a loving heart, God will give us the right words to counsel our brethren. My words allowed my child to become a better person. Sometimes we think criticism is not necessary. But it is. How else then, can we grow. For me, I’m a passionate person. And being the passionate person I am, every now, and then making a point often goes hand and hand with raising my voice an octave, or two. It sometimes appears as if I’m angry. But, because people in my life (who, either loved me enough to tell me the truth, or were just too tired to endure what they considered abuse), helped me to understand that I could make my point without raising my voice, I learned to control my behavior. I embraced the advice, which was given out of love, and was mature enough, not to treat it as a threat (although, honestly when it was first presented to me…, for a second, it was my initial response. I then, stepped outside myself, and took a look around). In Proverbs 19:20 it says, “Listen to advice, and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted wise.”   And though many of us may be fortunate to accept change, for some it may not be as easy. For when administering this advice, we fail to consider their past. Behaviors which have been instilled in them for years, may be very difficult to turn around. People in their lives have enabled their behavior. My parents never saw my enthusiasm when I was younger, mainly due to my wise nature…They were into slapping (or at least making sure the behavior never became a habit), and I, assuredly was not going to appear unwise lest I be slapped for my higher callings. The one time, I did try my mother, I was old enough, or so I felt, where I could afford a slip, or two of the tongue. Though, because of years of training, without effort on her part, I later apologized.

            So as wives; husbands; mothers; fathers; sisters and brothers; family and friends…, how do we take on this responsibility without jeopardizing our relationships? Or should that even be a concern. You hear so many stories of families and friends who do not speak to each other for years. It is in these misfortunes we realize Gods words when stressing the importance of forgiveness. It is also misfortunate that not all of us are equipped with this knowledge, nor the love of God. Or have even experienced Christianity as the foundation of our life. In saying this, one would think our guidance of truth is only as good as the degree of this pertinent knowledge the person receiving the endearing truth possess. But prayer is powerful. And in these instances, with the power of faith, mountains can be moved. As in James 2: 14-17 makes plain, if we have faith, but choose not to utilize this faith in helping others, then our faith is just as good as dead. We should not fear what our words might do if, one; we are acting out of love, and, or two; we have faith God will give us the appropriate words to act upon. We have a responsibility. Imagine this world if we took fear from our hearts, and stood with God, when we couldn’t stand by ourselves. I commend the women who are stepping up today, who have been taken advantaged in secrecy. It’s hard to take a stand, or admit occurrences in our life when you don’t believe others will side with you. Wrongful actions are wrong. If we know this in our hearts, we should have faith that God will provide a way to prevail. Yes in some instances, it is said to let God be our vindicator, but as I see it now, it depends on the degree of transgression. Someone treating me unfair, I let go and let God. I pray for them. A child going astray, I first pray, and pray some more. And when God gives me the opportune moment to speak (and he will, and you will know when He does, for our children also need that courtesy to be addressed appropriately), I speak. For I know, those prayers prayed, prior to this moment, have filled my spirit to say what is right, and be victorious in what is presented. For those women, they found their opportune moment to speak… And no doubt, with patience, victory was won. I don’t know if they prayed, but I’m sure in God’s eyes it didn’t matter, for it was time.

            I have seen prayer work alone without the heartfelt words… But if the person feels like they are right, and they are not hearing the conviction of the Holy Spirit then it will take time. Unfortunately, we do not make the lives of others easy, when we overlook their apparent confusion, illness, or misconduct. But one thing is certain, as disciples we cannot, nor should we stand by in silence for the sake of our own honor (Corinthians 3:16). For we are here to honor God, first, and foremost. And with this honor we built a relationship based on faith, and trust. It is with these two confidences, we go forth believing, for good. For as my mother so often recites, Romans 8:28, we know all things work together for good for those who love God, and who are called according to His purpose.

             

            CWB

            Corinthians 3:12-17

            Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

              77- “Just in the nick of time”

              77- “Just in the nick of time”

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              In my journey, there have always been signs where God ordered my steps. These signs helped to remind me, I was not travelling alone. They were the reasoning needed, when confused by my circumstances. They were the confidence needed, when I did not believe I could do it on my own. They were the hand on my shoulder, which assured me everything would be ok. Just as Paul received the Holy spirits guidance, and admonitions in his travels through the various cities, so too the Spirit directs us now. And even though, with me, his presence was evident…, at the base of every mountain, paranoia and uncertainty always manages to set in when the tests seem too overwhelming. I’d wonder to myself, “Did I hear Him right?” “Is this really what he wants me to do?”  Great at the beginning, mind you… Gung-ho in every way… But when the fog starts to roll in, and I cannot decipher which way is which, oh my goodness, how my faith begins to plunder… With what little trust I had left, I ‘d find myself praying, “Lord, help me to be obedient, if this is truly what you would have me to do,” especially when it would take long to manifest. I’d say, “Lord, if I have misunderstood, please tell me what is it that you want from me.”

              We are all human, with human tendencies. So, it is ok to slightly loose it, as they say, because the moment we do, “Loose it”, it’s God’s time to do His happy dance. It’s time for Him to show out! Last week, in my moment of plunder, I turned on TBN (It’s so weird when you hear a word being spoken, and you know it’s for you. You’re like, “Wow!”). It was James MacDonald who gave me the jolt this time. He said something to the effect, to let God do it in His own time. And on time, He was…, sending me a word, right when I needed it. Though I am getting better in my obedience…, listening to the Holy Spirit, not being afraid to step out of the box, this has been the longest of all hauls. It’s always the end of the test that gets to me. Impatience can appear unbecoming in our walk, but nonetheless, God loves us. He shows us through our test, that once acquired we will be stronger, able to weather the storms with a deeper sense of hope (Romans 5:3-4).

              So, to understand my impatient circumstance, January of this year, (this story starts in 2014, but I’ll start from here, so as not to confuse you) after three years in Florida, my fiancée and I found a church, and began attending on a weekly basis (Yes… three years…That’s another story. And so is the fact I am living with my fiancée, and not currently married). The very first service was… I can’t even describe it, but I never felt such a connection, in the way I did that morning. It was the second, or third service of the year, and the entire church was participating in a ceremonial fasting. The pastor began telling the congregation of how the year before, he had promised himself, he would start on his book (first sign), but was, I believe he said a little disappointed, because he had not had the time to begin (It startled me because I was like, “Me too!”). Then (second sign), he started to speak on being pregnant (in the spiritual sense), and tears, just overwhelmingly started rolling down my face. As it happened, it was not long ago I had declared the very same thing…, “Being pregnant.”  I originally received this after listening to Joel Osteen. Pregnant would mean being filled with an expectancy, or better yet, a knowing that something was about to occur. My expectancy lay dormant for quite some time, because for me it was just a dream, a thought perhaps, but nothing that would ever manifest. But now because of all these validations of recent thoughts and conversations, I could see now, in some way, or another, it possibly becoming a reality. And though this was only a minute piece of the dream, for me, this was confirmation, given to me by the Holy spirit that it was time, as T.D. Jakes says, to “Get ready.”  Then, still not completely there (having a hard head and all, and still taken aback that anything, of what I am experiencing is even happening), he for some reason began to speak on moving (third sign), which at the time was the core of any, and all conversation revisited numerous times for us. We were having reservations concerning our living arrangements, and so, at one point in our many discussions, I stated God wanted us to move. Mind you, this being the second time, I was directed to leave a city (last time in 2014), Like Paul, in Acts 20:22, by the direction of the Holy Spirit, not knowing what was to come, I knew, just as I obeyed then, I was going to obey now even if it meant leaving my love behind. So, at this point you could imagine how fast my head was spinning, when Pastor Lonnie mentioned “move.” I couldn’t see straight, much less walk straight, for I knew it was time, once again. I was so filled with God’s presence, I think I literally slapped myself when I arrived back to our vehicle. Literally!! And he (my fiancée), laughingly, was like what the heck is going on with you?” … He was laughing… I was laughing, and crying at the same time (my usual reaction when I’m afraid or overwhelmed) …  I would say this was the height of my spiritual journey. And then, the whammy! The ultimate sign, “77”. Now I can’t remember all that was said, but he was teaching us the meaning on how this was the year of 7. But regardless of what I cannot remember, what I do remember is God was trying to tell me something.

              Long short of it, after much deliberation, God sent the final sign…, transfer papers for my fiancée to move to Charlotte, North Carolina. “And there I was driving down the highway turning off highway 23, onto ……, get this!!…Route 77…. It took a quick second before I realized the significance, and the biggest smile showed up on my face. I was like “Wow! “There it was!! Highway 77. And, if that wasn’t enough, little did I know, Irma was not very far behind. Every time I would be asked later, “Where did you move from?” I’d say, in awe, “Florida, and just in the nick of time”.

              Paul had reservations regarding whether, or not he should share his stories of the Holy Spirit’s assistance in his life (2 Corinthians 12: 1-12). For him though, I believe it had more to do with the way in which the Holy Spirit engaged him. Safe for me to say, I did not transcend into another realm, though the moment certainly had me in a frenzy. I don’t know much of anything accept what God leads me to discover. For me, I feel, if one person can receive an ounce of what has filled me these past years, I would be grateful. I don’t believe we realize, again, the Holy spirit is alive. For myself, earlier in my life, I always have known Him as a friend, a consoler, a warm spirit. But never like this! If God uses me to move the next believer into such a state as this! It’s well with my soul to boast of His presence in my life.

               

              CWB

                Another Human Being…

                Another Human Being…

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                The greatest gift we can give ourselves is to know ourselves. If we do not take the time to know ourselves, how can we expect others to know who we are as individuals. When we know who we are as individuals, we can stand our ground against adversity, because we are confident in who we are not. When we are confident in who we are not, we gain respect in who we are, and what we stand for, because we suddenly realize our worth.

                 

                As individuals, we can be so hateful. If we are not lashing out at each other, verbally, we are abusing each other physically. In James 3:9, it is said the same tongue that is used to praise God, is used to insult our brethren. And the absurdity of it all…It is God who created us equally…  But what is it, that instills in one individual, this perception, it is ok to be hateful to another human being? To control who, or what an individual wants to be. Is it the hatred that grants us authority? Or is it the desire for someone, other than ourselves, to be just as miserable, as we are, with our own selves? Or could it be simply because we feel we are right, and they are wrong? No matter what one’s frame of mind, statue, or status, no one should ever have authority over another person’s life. It is said in Leviticus 19:17, we must not hate, or take our indifferences out on our brother. We must treat each other as we would want to be treated by others. Hatred will only cause the individual to be ashamed, or fear for their life because of the constant abuse. In the end, their one resolve is to abandon themselves, relinquishing their spirit, or even worse, their life.  And why? Because they are an individual, unlike the other person infiltrating their space. One of a kind, with unique characteristics.   If there is any commonality in all this, it is our carnal, and or worldly desire to acquire something which is not ours to take, that being a person’s inner self. To feel supreme, and lash out because someone has what the other wants. Our desire to be better than the next person. To exert power to prove we have won. We have conquered. But have we really?

                Society can be cruel. We tend to make what is different, seem monstrous. We refuse to accept truth, so we try to change it in our own strength. We can pretend it does not exist. We can even blame the people we hurt, and say they should be strong. But point being, we hurt others. When slavery is referenced in the bible, one would imagine, stories of malice, or hatred. But instead the bible instructs us to treat others with dignity when enslaved. It is plain to see, though it was written in Colossians 4:1 to be fair, malice still managed to override justice.  Displaying one’s differences is harmful. When we take advantage, lie on one another, abuse one another, whatever the case, it only leads to despair. If we could only reflect inward when we chose to harm others. We should ask ourselves, “Why am I acting this way?” This is such an effective technique, to set both you, and the person you are harming free. That is why we have counselors, and psychiatrist… Our thought, our actions all can be corrected if we simply take the time to ask the question, “Why?” What pain am I harboring that causes me to willfully  harm another human being?

                 

                CWB

                  For the Bond which Holds us together….Separation is not an Option!

                  For the Bond which Holds us together….Separation is not an Option!

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                  When God presents us with our true love who makes us happier than we have ever been, we think of their presence, night and day. We cannot imagine what the world would be like without them. We smile from ear to ear. Tell our families of their amazing attributes. Count the number of ways we are absolutely made for each other. And though it appears our foundation is rock solid, we brace ourselves, for we realize the foundation for which we stand is not as sturdy as we had hoped.

                  All relationships can be challenging. No two people are alike. So when we come together, with our array of personalities, and past setbacks in life which have eroded what little identity we have left, it becomes difficult to carry the weight of a relationship along with our baggage, to say the least, no matter how beautiful the event may seem. As I write, I feel like a broken record… For I say continuously, every aspect, in my life, I have given over to God to make better, only because, I know he can. In the business world, they say when you present an idea…, a thought, do not say, “I think this would be a good idea.” Say, “You know…,” or better yet, say, “It is…,” and stand on your word with confidence. In John 14:6, God said “I am the way and the truth and the life.” He did not say he felt as though this was his position in life, but emphatically, he is the way to the Father. And this I believe. On everything which turns bleak in my life, I stand firm, and continue to believe God’s word. If not out of desperation, then because, He tells me, “It is good.” You see, if we pay attention, God will teach us, and test our relationships. And it is in these tests, again, if we are attentive, he shows us how to live a better life, and endure the gifts of love which he has graciously bestowed upon us. Through our test, our integrity is put on trial. So, when we are in situations that become intense, do we take it out on our spouse, or should we take the high road and forgive? When God shows us the need to change within our own selves, should we make those changes within? Or should we react stubbornly, because we are too proud to change? Or, for that matter, do we simply turn our backs on change because we cannot believe, it is us, who, need the change? Usually, we go on, trying (operative word), to change the circumstance in our own strength, rather than handing it over to God. But, what we should do is engage in life, no matter how tiresome. For what is life if we do not participate. With every strength received from our merciful God, we should raise our hands and say, “Here God, I’m giving it to you.”  And then go on to celebrate our own change, without another thought to the once tiresome situation we handed over to God. It baffles me why we think it is much easier to battle it out, than to simply give it to God.

                  When we see God’s hand working in our life, and we know he has placed this individual in our life, separation is not an option. Whether it be your spouse, your mother, your sister, or your brother, separation is not an option. When the circumstances begin to change, after letting go completely, because separation was not an option, we have the privilege of receiving the miraculous gift from God. The gift of restoration. But we must be patient. We must endure. We must believe. We must listen to the still voice of God urging us to be patient. We must listen to the still voice teaching us patience. Showing us who we are in the big scheme of it all. The voice telling us we are important. Telling us we are loved, if we only give it a moment to manifest. The voice which tells us, “I’m working on it….,” “Just be still….” The voice which ask, “Do you trust me?” The voice which says, “I love you.”

                  Separation is not an option, for we know, “God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28).

                   

                  CWB

                    Being Realistic…

                    Being Realistic…

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                    If there is one word in the English language I have grown to despise, it is the word realistic. When I hear it, it is like a double-edged sword driven in my heart. I am torn emotionally. On the one hand, the person adamantly professes their love for God. But as the discussion continues, I soon discover their destiny in jeopardy when they negligently exclude the power which rose Jesus from the dead. The context of realism sadly displays a lack of faith when uttered. So, though they know God, I do not know whether to rejoice…, or cry, because deep inside I know, they have not yet allowed themselves to let God be God. To relinquish the scientific…, the realistic…, the inevitable…, and obediently depend solely on Him. Trusting Him with a faith that could move mountains. So as Paul prays for those who have become fortunately blessed to know God (Ephesians 1: 17-19), I pray for them as well. For it is not enough to know him, but to also possess the knowledge of his great power, and how we have the opportunity to fulfill all our hopes and dreams by God’s grace. For there is nothing like releasing your cares, knowing that God’s power is so mighty, he is able to resolve, restore, bring into being, even the mightiest of circumstances to make better our lives.

                    For many of us, when introduced to God, and we acknowledge his existence, it is when our spiritual journey begins. At some point in our life, hope fills our heart, and “faith”, being “the substance of things hoped for (Hebrews11:1)”, is given to us by God. But we are human, and when we are challenged by what we do not see, it becomes more difficult to profess. And so, our newly acquired faith is then challenged, and we move on to the next chapter in our spiritual journey, “The Proficiency of your Faith 101”. Yes, we believe there is a God… but we put limitations on His abilities. If we did not actually see Jesus heal the sick man with leprosy, how can we be expected to believe he can heal a family illness which has been around for generations, much less feed our family with loaves of bread, and a couple of fish. In the bible, it says all that is needed is faith, the size of a mustard seed. So how do we bring ourselves to believe this faith trumps our pragmatic beliefs? When do we let our guard down, rule out commonsense, and give praise, knowing without a shadow of a doubt, He has us, and will not forsake us? Regardless of the circumstances, whether it be in health, relationships, or finances, we desperately need to incorporate hardcore faith into our life.

                    God will award us with grace but on the condition, we follow his instructions. So, in Corinthians 3: 11-15, if our foundation is that of Jesus Christ it will radiate in our lives. And if we subject ourselves to the instruction of those God has put before us, and humble ourselves to them, as in 1 Peter 5:5, God will anoint us with his grace. But for some of us, we are not mentally ready to give up control of our own lives. Or maybe, we are still immature in life itself, where we feel religion is for the old and feeble. We feel we have not lived enough yet, to relinquish control of our lives. But life happens, and circumstances do not always go according to plan, and we hit rock bottom. For me that ultimate faith came into play when I had absolutely nowhere else to turn. No plan. No direction. I was at the end of my rope. It was all I could do to look up and say God I need you. I surrender to you. And from that day forward my life has been the happiest it has ever been. I choke up when I compare my life to the before and after. It is like seeing the sun for the first time. Or smelling a rose. And I want to contain myself, but every time I think about his goodness, and my journey, I get so full inside. Back then, people always thought I was sad because they would see the tears rolling down my face. I knew he loved me back then, but now… If they thought I was sad then, they probably think I am in total misery now. With but an utterance of his goodness, tears fill my eyes, and warms me like nothing else in this world…  I pray that we all find this peace. It is awesome to understand and know, that because of God’s sacrifice, our sins are forgiven, and we can start anew. We can follow him and be set free from sickness, poverty, depression, unfair treatment, or at least the feeling of condemnation. The list goes on. And if we can learn this before we hit bottom…, “What a wonderful world”, as Louis would sing…

                     

                    CWB

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