Spiritual

What can you do for me?

What can you do for me?

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This piece is another of those written where I felt was going in so many directions, I had to take a step back for fear of losing its purpose.  I believe it’s delay worked in my favor, for many of the conversations and activities participated, tied everything together, in one pretty bow.

Last month, I had the pleasure to share with my family, one of many accomplishments my daughter has successfully achieved in her life.   On this occasion it was acquiring her Masters.  I first give glory to God for watching over her and instilling in her the ability to focus and stay focused while also experiencing the challenges of life.  Understanding now, focus is one of the key ingredients to successfully accomplishing our goals, I have adopted this concept as my mantra, of sought. God created such a strong young woman of whom I am so proud to call my daughter. There were times, though, I was afraid she was focused to a fault. But, because, like her mother, she always stepped back to evaluate her circumstances, concentrating on her intent and actions, I never really have to worry about her character, or her soul for that matter.

All of us, in our journey in life, run the risk of falling short. We learn as we go and grow to be better people.  We may do, or, and say hurtful things to others…. Unconscionable things even, which would be seen as unforgiving. Or perhaps, we may conjure thoughts…, preconceived notions of each other’s intent, which later we find to be wrong, or just not justifiable enough to condemn. But if with God’s grace and our learned lessons (which award grace and to and by others), we then take these lessons learned, and rejoice, knowing no one is expected to get everything right, it is a beautiful freeing experience.  For with acceptance of our faults, we find within ourselves and others, value, and the gracious mercies of God for which we can be grateful.

There are many who strive for success and stop at nothing to achieve what they set out to accomplish.  I’ve heard people say, any association with anyone, other than those who serve a purpose in their life is pointless. Basically, if you can’t support me by way of assisting , contributing, making a mark in helping me, or inciting me to achieve my goals, or higher potential…, if you have no resources which are of value to me, then you are not a necessity in my  life. This of course, is not to be misunderstood with those people in our life, whose only goal, in their own life, is to self-destruct and bring everyone down along with them.  I get it! It’s obvious they are detrimental to our well-being, and we should have the right to choose whether, or not, we should associate with them (unless of course our own mission and purpose is to actually help them). But if while protecting our best interest, we in turn ban people in our life, those who love us and support us in their own crazy way, then what are we doing?  People such as our family, who we should have no choice, but to love. Or our spouses, who we have promised to love for better or worse. It is these people we should hold on to, through thick and thin, despite our twisted notions of them when they get on our nerves.  I mean, isn’t this the purpose of having quirky inconsistencies in our life? If you can’t survive the world according to your family, let me tell you, your chance of surviving the real world according to society are slim to none.

Our purpose should never be more important than the gift of family.  An unconditional love which is so precious and gives us the strength to go the extra mile is not something that should be taken for granted.  We are here to serve each other.  To associate our loved ones to materialistic opportunities is shameful.  As it would, in any association, to anyone, for that matter.  For this would display signs of a society gone wrong.  Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. could not have explained it better when he described how materialism was one of three pitfalls to society. The more we produce, the more we want, which then jeopardies our moral compass to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. With family being the core of our pursuit in life, material advancement should not be center stage. The adrenaline to produce and succeed reveals the junky in us which is difficult to shake. It is as if we never become satisfied with what we have, or where we are, or where we are going in life.  There is no end in what we do, or, how we do it, or who we push aside in order to achieve our goals, while all at the expense of others. There is this perpetual drive to have more. Do more.  To be better than the next person.  If a member of our family is a drug dealer, or a user of such, are we going to disown them because we have no use for him? I know, I know…. many people who do drugs or tend to deal with things of that nature are destructible, in their own right. Untrustworthy even. So maybe this is a bad analogy. I suppose, like Jesus when he was praying for the sick, if your presence conflicts with my mission, then I just as well rather you not be present. But perhaps, better illustrated, if someone close to us were illiterate, would we push them away because they serve no purpose? Or, if they were poor, and, or had no direction in life, would we then shut them out? Even those relationships of an estranged nature, in the end, bear some value if we take the time to repair the rift. What it boils down to is when our selected agendas for the lives of certain people in our life, do not live up to our expectations and they are unable to support the agenda we have selected for them, should we then push them away? If it was, would it not come at a cost of evaluating the people in our lives as steppingstones, or future opportunities for increase…What does this say for our character and the well-being of our soul? Minorities of all kinds have been steppingstones, politically, economically, and socially for forever. But of course, that is another subject all on its own, and one which has proven to be immoral, but, nevertheless still relevant, and very much similar in this respect. Any measure of someone’s worth by a handicap or set back of any nature, whether it be financially, educationally, or social lack thereof, warrants re-evaluation of the direction our soul teeters. If back in 1967, Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. blamed it on scientific power as being the reaper of our souls, what is our excuse today, but that of a continuing saga of our yesterday? In Philippians 2: 3-4, it says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of the others”.   How different this world would have evolved if we would have lived by this concept. There would be no disparity in regard to society because there would be no measure. There would only be love and acceptance of ourselves and that of others regardless of faults or handicaps. There would be no ridicule, no comparison, no distinction. Just love. And it would be about what we can do for each other, so that we can ALL live pursuing our life, liberties, and happiness together, in harmony, just as Jesus exemplified in his own life.

 

 

CWB

 

     

    My Achilles Heel

    My Achilles Heel

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    When I look at the world, and that which influence our lives, I first think of God, then science, and then something of a gray matter, which I will call the spiritual realm. And in this realm, I would say, consist of spirits of darkness, and then our own spiritual existence. With the assistance of the spirits of darkness, negativity flourishes, and at times will take hold of our own spirituality, causing massive confusion. I believe many of us become caught in a web within the spiritual realm of others, which in turn, can lead to some form of destruction, if not careful. Due to this web of destruction, we no longer have control over our own subconscious, and so, it confines us. Makes us insecure. Instills fear and doubt in our minds. Just as much as we need to know God, we also need to know our enemy, and how he works. So, although, my lot in life is a quest for a deeper understanding and spiritual connection with God, it sometimes will include the quest for a deeper understanding of the spirits of darkness, and those influences surrounding us. For ultimately, it is these which hinder us from becoming who God created us to be.

    Influences which inhabit our bodies can be tricky. We want to account for our behavior, but again, sometimes it is not always our choice as to how we react to certain situations. Especially when it involves and effects the contentment of others. There was a time, I would be hesitant in saying that a person’s spirit, or, for lack of a better word, influence, could incorporate our bodies, and proceed to take over our minds. Who of us want to believe that a person can have that much hold over us? It is one thing to be manipulated physically, but when someone can influence your judgement, it not only becomes a matter of control, but violation. Because we are told our decisions are free of our own choice, we do not consider the foreign influences which may stealth inside us. It is a harder fight when you do not know, who, or what you are fighting, than when you are aware of who you are up against. When a person’s spirit, whether near, or far, can manipulate your thinking, life can be a lot more exhausting then we all bargain for. There have been several instances in my life where people confessed their motives, which in turn, eerily coincided with my previous subconscious bout, where I had had a recent sense, or feeling, someone or something regarding the very same circumstance was manipulating my thinking. I found many people who had this effect on me were avid controllers, and manipulators. All very congenial on the outside, but if paid attention, the apparent control issues reserved for timely matters, which inevitably were incomprehensible, would be revealed.

    Years ago, when viewing the news, there seemed to be an array of instances, similar to this, which intrigued me. Nice people… loving moms, straight “A” students, Godly people, taking a turn for the worse, and involving themselves in horrific acts against themselves, and, or their loved ones. I would say to myself, if only I could ask them who in their lives had a stake in what they were doing. Who did they make angry because they were not living, or doing what was expected of them? My father once said to me “Live a good life, but more importantly, try not to piss anyone off.” It stuck with me, and today I see precisely what he meant. And too, a lot of times, like in Matthew 16:23, when Jesus revealed he had to go to Jerusalem to die, and Peter was beside himself, urging him not to go…, there are some who, whether subconsciously, or consciously begin a crusade to protect , what they believe to be a vested interest in someone else’s life. Despite their motive, whether selfish, or out of love, and concern for the other person’s wellbeing, it is manipulative and sinful if they obsess thoughts of redirection, and, or demise for that person. We cannot judge another person’s actions simply because we do not agree with them. As it says in Romans 14: 1-23, our beliefs are no better than our brethren beliefs. And the only person who has the authority to pass judgement is God. We all have ideals we passionately believe in our heart. But, until that person believes otherwise, it is no one’s right to come against them. Peter ‘s direct reaction to Jesus’ revelation alerted Jesus of his confusion, and realized it was of the devil, and so responded, “Get thee behind me satan.”   Peter did not consider the factor of God’s calling. He allowed satan to cloud his judgement, not knowing this was Jesus’ calling to die for our sins. But this, was an obvious attack. If this were capitalized in the spiritual realm, where it would not be so obvious, our only choice would be to try and understand the thoughts in our mind which unknowingly were instilled by other elements. We then would believe, either something was wrong with us, or…, we would make decisions which were not our own., or both… now giving way to confusion, because we not only have God directing our steps, but this other spiritual being directing our steps as well. And yes, the devil can use other people to influence us. But, all in all, if these people are in our circle, and are influenced to do harm against us, but appear to be sheep in the natural, we need to know what we are up against. Though for many of us we can be strong, there are some who contemplate suicide because of this confusion, or who kill their children because of this confusion, so on and so on… We need to know and sympathize with others who appear confused in their dilemma’s, and realize ourselves, the torment some may go through is not necessarily from their own destruction, but the wrath of someone’s selfishness.

    Have you ever not done something someone wanted you to do in regard to your own life, and felt their wrath? I believe these are the last mysteries of life which are strictly taboo. And, I say all this not to put fear in our minds, but to make us aware of those we come in contact. Science has an answer for everything, but sometimes there is no answer, just the relevance of it being what it is in our subconscious, and the truth which is revealed, if pursued persistently to find the answer. Just as it was with Jesus, it is with us today, confusion setting in for some, who then in turn develop this animosity towards others, bringing into our lives unexplainable wrath. The wrath which for me, at one time consumed my body. But now I realize some of the decisions, and actions I took were influenced, more so, by the wrath of others. My Achilles is being receptive to all this due to my sensitivity, and naive compassion for others.  Over the years I’ve gotten stronger, and can now pick up on issues such as this. But I want people to know not to be hard on themselves. They can become strong and become who God created them to be despite those who consistently come against them. Because of God’s spirituality in me, I can see the confusion, others may not. But both influences being somewhat inaudible, has the capability to lead to perhaps thinking God is against me. This, followed by audible wraths of confusion, can be convincing. And because I know I am not alone, these are the people who I want to set free, and let them know, one…., they are not alone, and two…, they can be healed. Science and the definitions why some may hear actual voices, or do the things they do, are not always black and white. Sometimes, like the love of God, and his heavenly existence, we have to incorporate the unknown to survive, even if we do not understand. I could have very well been considered bipolar (and to some, I was), but without a shadow of a doubt, I know now, it wasn’t a, “chemical imbalance” as some labeled, but the influence of someone’s wrath. Whether they were influenced by the devil, and in turn influenced me, neither here nor there…. They subconsciously led me…, vulnerable to the spirit world, and in turn affected my being. But I fight to the death with the help of my God, for I know he loves me and will not leave me, despite how it may seem on the inside.

    Being aware of our Achilles empowers us. As they say, I cannot change those against me, but I can change who I am, and become strong. Guard my heart when something does not feel right. Push forward, even when confusion sets in, and I cannot understand why. Confusion is the key. We will never live the life God intended us to live if we are unaware of our enemies, or those with selfish motives, or more importantly, unaware of our calling… Our Achilles heel could be our sensitivity, and, or obligation to others, and the people we love… It could be addictions; we cannot let go. But if we call on our heavenly father, the only being who is truly looking out for us, we can live a fruitful and prosperous life. I know now when he communicates to me it is soft, like a brush of wind. A flash of revelation. A warm embrace… A happy feeling of knowing. Unexplainable tears, or joys of laughter, all void of confusion. My Achilles will no longer be my demise, but my strength, for when I am weak, then I am strong…. Happy New Year’s!!

    CWB

    Hello… Venturing into new avenues the start of the year. I believe the Lord is allowing me leave of absence, so depending on my schedule, may or may not be back until possibly June. Until then, have a wonderful start to the New year, and remember God Loves you so very much. He is just a whisper away if you seek him wholeheartedly…. May peace be with you wherever you go… CWB

      The August Rush complex

      The August Rush complex

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      My Christmas wish for all is to experience…. The August Rush.

       

      Spirits in the wind… The voices from heaven…

       

      If I had the voice of an angel, I would lift my voice high for all heavens to rejoice.

      He that formed me and made me…

      My voice would be my hope. The hope which comes from above. People would be lifted, and all would feel love … if I had the voice of an angel.

       

      If I had the words to change the heart of man, I would speak for all to hear.

      He that formed me and made me…

      My words would be their salvation. The salvation which comes from above. Hearts would be full, and all would be free…if I had the words to change the heart of man.

       

      Spirits in the wind. The joy from heaven….

      Oh, how Wonderous it would be to share the joy which fills my every soul.

      God, you are my muse.

      Lift my voice…. Form my words… as I catch the spirits which sway in the wind, so they too can feel the breeze of your joy and your love.

       

      I listen and feel your joy and your love, just as I see and hear their confusion and their pain.

      As I wear my sob from your warm embrace, I am dizzy from the strength of your gentle hug.

      Oh…., the warmth you bring me.

      The spirit in the wind will give me air to breathe, and strength to carry on. It will shine a path, and direct my steps.

       

      For Lord, it is you, who sways the wind.

      It is you, who fills my spirit with hope and joy.

      It is you, who loves me to the depths of my soul.

      It is you, who gives me salvation.

      It is you, who filled me with the complex of August rush…

      John 15: 9-17

      9“Just as the Father has loved me, I have also loved you; remain in my love. 10If you obey my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. 11I have told you these things so that my joy may be in you, and your joy may be complete. 12My commandment is this – to love one another just as I have loved you. 

      IN THE GARDEN
      words & music by
      C Austin Miles

      Verse 1
      I come to the garden alone,
      While the dew is still on the roses;
      And the voice I hear,
      Falling on my ear,
      The Son of God discloses.

      Chorus:
      And he walks with me
      And He talks with me,
      And He tells me I am his own;
      And the joy we share as we tarry there,
      None other has ever known.

      Verse 2
      He speaks and the sound of His voice
      Is so sweet the birds hush their singing;
      And the melody that He gave to me
      Within my heart is ringing.

      Chorus

      Verse 3
      I’d stay in the garden with Him,
      Tho’ the night around me be falling,
      But He bids me go;
      Thro’ the voice of woe
      His voice to me is calling.

      ♥Merry Christmas to All♥

      CWB

        A sin is a sin, is a sin….

        A sin is a sin, is a sin….

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        Sin can be engaged in a variety of ways. We can partake in sin, when living out of wedlock. Participate in sin in adultery affairs, or become murderers, liars, cheaters, sodomizers, and, or pedifiers, just to name a few. In Mark 7: 20-23, Jesus explains the things that come from the heart like sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, cheating, shameless lust, envy, slander, arrogance, and foolishness, are all sin. Unlike spoiled food, originating from the outside, these sins originate in our heart, manifested by our own conscience. They are inside us, and so, not as easily to regurgitate as spoiled food. And though there is no justification for any of it, we should still show love and understanding for those who are engaged in such acts of sin. In Romans 14:10, it is explained not to be condescending. In 1 John 4: 7-11, John stresses the love of God, who loved us so much, He gave his only son as a sacrifice for our sins. And in return, all that He has asked of us is be imitators of God (Ephesians 5:1), i.e.., showing love for all, and sinning no more (John 8:11).

        Jesus says in John 7:8, he that is without sin can cast the first stone, but as we all know no one is as fortunate to be without sin, except for Jesus. Living out of wedlock is my greatest sin. My family still loves me, but fact remains, I am living in sin. And according to my previous residency, not only was I committing a sin, but also a crime. Since 1868, it has been a crime in the state of Florida for opposite sex life partners to live together out of wedlock. Though it was intended to curtail interracial marriages at the time, it ultimately became an unspoken culture in the state of Florida. Not only was it relevant to interracial marriages, but to all couples regardless of race, who lived together out of wedlock. Yes, it was uncomfortable at times when I realized the reason for my displacement among others, but I did not retaliate, picket, or burn down establishments because of their displeasure towards me. What right, would I have had, to do so? I was sinning! The only true right I possessed were those to live and breathe. My God given rights. Any violation, towards these privileges, would be cause for taking a stand. But this was not the case. Only my moral disposition in life was impeded, and in this case, was warranted due to my actions outside of the law. Just as government has repercussions for violating the preservation of mankind, so does God for violating his commandments. But because He is not physically here to reprimand us, is no reason to take advantage of His kindness in giving His only son for our sins, that we abuse it and live our life the way we see fit. We should be accountable for all our actions (Romans 14:11) whether they be of sin, or not. Yes, it is written to let others deal with their actions themselves, i.e., letting their conscience be their guide, for if we truly believe in what we are doing, is for the love of God then it would be good. But, if in any way we feel conviction, then we should reevaluate our actions. Up until now, I truly believed that it was God’s love which bought us together, so I was committed, regardless of the sanctity of my commitment. But now in my journey, I want to be the daughter God intended me to be. I do not want to go around the mountain again, portrayed as the same person. As if there’s been no change in my walk with God… I want to give my all. In Proverbs 10:9 it says “He who walks with integrity walks securely, but he who perverts his ways will become known.

        And so, my purpose is not to condemn anyone, or make them feel confused as to where they stand in the kingdom of God (Romans14:15). My purpose, always has, and always will be, to promote peace and love among us all, despite who we are as individuals. In order to do that we must accept each other and not think of our neighbors any less important as we think of ourselves. This goes for those who rob us in the night, of our life, and, or possessions. To those who rob men, women, and children of the right to have the opportunity to rationally consent to sexual encounters with decency and integrity. Or, even, to those who retaliate against, those who take advantage, and rob us of our liberties. Regardless of the degree of harm inflicted, God is no respecter of person. Whether it be towards the inflicted, or the inflictor; the sinner or the righteous. We should forgive all, and treat all with respect.  Leviticus 19:18 states, “You should not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord”.

        We need a change. We need to all look inside ourselves, for but a mere reflection of our actions. Sin is so blatantly displayed these days. It is on the television, in our music, on our streets… It’s all about what sells, and saving face. Or how we can make money. But if we continue to secretly condone the acts of others, it will only become worse. Thank God for our forefathers who had the courage to take a stand and speak the truth. Thank God for those who are taking a stand today. But as we take this stand, let us remember to perform as God would perform. We are not to condemn people, lock the door and throw away the key. We all need help. We all need love. Not one of us needs to hear how ungodly, mean, or perverse we are living. This lesson is one I know too well, from both angles. It is only human to angrily retaliate, but we must remember to pray. And though this is difficult to do in the midst of the fire…, prayer changes a heart. Pray through the pain as you pray for the inflictor.  Again, it is not about us, but drawing those who have not had the chance to feel that love which comes from our Father above. It is about drawing them to the glorious kingdom of God, so they too can be made whole. We have a long road ahead… We should never be bored with life, for there is so much we have to accomplish in his kingdom.

        Hebrews 4: 12-16

        12God’s word is living and active. It is sharper than any two-edged sword and cuts as deep as the place where soul and spirit meet, the place where joints and marrow meet. God’s word judges a person’s thoughts and intentions. 13No creature can hide from God. Everything is uncovered and exposed for him to see. We must answer to him.

        14We need to hold on to our declaration of faith: We have a superior chief priest who has gone through the heavens. That person is Jesus, the Son of God. 15We have a chief priest who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses. He was tempted in every way that we are, but he didn’t sin. 16So we can go confidently to the throne of God’s kindness to receive mercy and find kindness, which will help us at the right time. (When we become accountable for our actions……)

        CWB

           

          Selfless Acts of love …

          Selfless Acts of love …

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          It is true, God is the only one who is authorized to judge. It is He who orders the steps of others. Sees their hearts. Knows the effort and difficulty taken to do what is right. But it is also he, who orders the steps of others to be the vehicles to assist, in that journey. God will use us to move them, with intercession, in the right direction. But I feel, He will only use us, if He knows in our hearts we will not judge. That we will do it with a kind heart… We should always question our motives. “Is this being judgmental?” Am I doing this because it is something I want to do, or did God assign this to me? In our hearts, we should always express love, kindness, patience, and empathy towards those who are not as fortunate. In this way, we are instrumental even before God prompts us to intercede. Even if we endure adversity through this intercedence, we should love them anyway because we know that is what God would want from us. In 2 Timothy 1:8, Paul explains how we must endure these afflictions, with the power given to us by God, for the sake of the gospel. And in enduring theses afflictions He will not leave us in this moment; He has called upon us to do his works. Yes, intercessions can sometimes cause pain. And pain creates fear due to the power it has over your mind. But praying unceasingly helps immensely. God carries the weight.

          Prayer preoccupies your mind from the hurt your feeling. As it is said in 2 Timothy 1:7, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, and timidity but of power, love, and self – control”. Unselfishly, for others we must be strong, for we are called to make a difference. God places us in their life for a reason. Ever heard that saying, some people are in our life for a season, some for a reason, and others for a lifetime. I wonder if those seasons were mere misunderstandings, or excuses to give up. Were they times in our life when we did not understand selfless love. The process of truly loving someone, unconditionally, as we would want them to love us, despite the pain it caused. We must be mature in our quest, if we want to be effective. Yes, not everyone can be in our life for a lifetime. Not everyone can be saved, but surely, if we make the effort to be God like, we can accomplish more than we could if we had not made the effort at all.

          Confusion can overcome us all. We blame God for our tribulations. We find ourselves not trusting God like we should because of the tribulations. Throughout our walk there is always someone in need of support. The restlessness of their supposed torment is like the thief in the night. Taken hold of their trust in God, without them even realizing it has been stolen. Diminishing their faith, while all along, leading them back to their original nature…, sin. No more sin. In 1 Peter 4:4–14, Peter ironically points out, if we are going through pain and suffering in our journey, then this is good. We are right where God chooses us to be, in the thick of it. The pain only matures us with the understanding, we can be free from sin if we stay strong and do not look back.  If we would place ourselves in the shoes of Jesus, imagining the pain and suffering He underwent, we would gain the courage to endure it. It would have been simple for Him to give in and be driven by the flesh. To have chosen life without suffering. But this was not his choice. He trusted his father, despite what his circumstances predicted. The core of our faith must be to trust and believe in His authority over our life. God, thank you for helping me to put my total trust in you, and not return to my old ways of doubt.

          I do believe, now that I know the spirit which lies in me is real, and powerful; and my faith has increased considerably; I could have done a lot better in my latter years, had I known. Had I been aware of the authority God placed in me, I could have used it, to make better, situations which were entrusted to me. Approaching matters with a greater peace. Swaddling them with understanding. Many people may not understand the spirit, and how God wants Him to move in the lives of others. It’s deep. Just as deep as having the courage to believe in someone, or something which occurred so many years ago. Jesus healing the sick; raising people from the dead. But courage makes us strong, as a parent, as a spouse, as a friend, as a Christian. I now entrust God to lead me, so I can enable others to be encouraged as well. To be mighty in the kingdom, even if it means enduring a little suffering for the cause.

           

          1 Peter 2:21 – 25

          21 God called you to endure suffering because Christ suffered for you. He left you an example so that you could follow in his footsteps. 22 Christ never committed any sin. He never spoke deceitfully.23 Christ never verbally abused those who verbally abused him. When he suffered, he didn’t make any threats but left everything to the one who judges fairly. 24 Christ carried our sins in his body on the cross so that freed from our sins, we could live a life that has God’s approval. His wounds have healed you. 25 You were like lost sheep. Now you have come back to the shepherd and bishop of your lives.

          CWB

            There is only one God….

            There is only one God….

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            The definition of intelligence; the level of one’s mental capacity, to learn, reason, and understand. Society leads us to believe, the intelligence of a human being is essential to their success in life. But should we calculate intelligence by ones I.Q, or by the source to which intelligence is derived. Some of us gather our information from books, others from simple common sense. Whatever the source of knowledge, we are all intelligent in our own right. And though intelligence intends to give us the upper hand, ironically, it can also hinder the simplest of decisions due to the considerable amount of information gathered, or retained in our minds. Our knowledge binds us. Some say who would ever want to return to years of young; we were unable to do anything on our own. But honestly, how easy life would be if someone helped us along the way. If only the lack of intelligence would be appreciated as much as its counterpart. No science, no statistics, no experience to convolute the forefront. Just perception at its purest, and simplest form. When I see government, officials squabbling over health care coverage, it boggles my mind. Yes, there needs to be a plan, and yes, it’s probably not that simple a decision when it incorporates so many lives, but from a simple point of view everyone needs healthcare. And everyone needs it in the same capacity, and for the same reasons. Unlike gun control, where the needs can be either for protection, or for the nature of entertainment of a malice, or trivial sport. With healthcare, there’s one objective, and that is to stay healthy. And considering it is much better to give than receive…, why not let those who can give more, pay more. Or maybe in some way let it be a choice for those who do give more, that they will be rewarded, like our father in heaven rewards us when we give. I may be ignorant to the complexity of it all, but I will not underestimate my source. When I haven’t a clue, I know one source even greater, and counsel, more beneficial than any other, and it is of a spiritual aspect. When we are not bogged down by outside information derived by human intelligence, the outcome is unquestionably better certified than the latter.

            We are all made different. We all have certain characteristics that make us unique. We all have a past, when combined with our characteristics, can either enhance our personalities, or degrade them. When we see others at face value, we may not be aware, the true persona that radiates from within. If masked with the essence of coal, this alone can allow our closest associates, family, or friends, to be left bewildered, and unaware of who we are, truly, on the inside. And again, no one’s perfect. But when strife seems to follow you wherever you go, it is a telltale; something is amiss. Even though we say no one’s perfect, and we wouldn’t want to change the other person, honestly it would befit them, for their whole quality of life could change for the better. If the old way of being who we are just isn’t working, what is there to lose? But then, sometimes, for some of us it is difficult to see the wrong we are doing because we are so stuck on being perfect, we can’t bear to think we could ever be wrong. We want so much to be accepted…, liked by everyone, we inevitably fall in to sin. As it is said in Ephesians 4:17-19, because of their lack of thinking, and hardened hearts they have lost touch with God. Their acceptance at any cost becomes more important than breathing. More important than the people ultimately hurt, because we are conditioned to be unaccountable for our actions. Thereby stubbornly not admitting to our callous actions. 1 Samuel 15:23 warns, “For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry”.

            Yes, we all have a past. I asseverate, constantly, we cannot judge someone by their actions, if we have never walked in their shoes. If we did, we would then understand the person. Circumstances in our life, no one knows. Sometimes, our own comprehension of our past and its effect, as I see it, can be a catch 22. If we cannot take ownership of the circumstances and not so much, admit, but realize, how it has impacted our life, how can we convey our feelings to someone else, if do not even realize we are broken? A secret, not only to those we encounter, but to ourselves as well. Only if revealed, we are able to prompt awareness, allowing to dismiss any misunderstandings, or assumptions made on our character.

            I believe because God, knew there would be times, when looking on the outside, in, we would encounter other’s, and their intentions, and believe the worst of them, God gave His mercy. And it is because of this, we must have mercy on them as well. We must continue to lift them. I, myself am finding this hard to do, and if anyone knew me, could very well call me a hypocrite. But from glory to glory, God is shifting my heart even closer to His merciful kingdom, and it is well with my soul. Particularly, for our commander in chief, I pray his soul will find refuge in some way. I know it can be difficult, if all our life, me make ourselves the center of everything. But to exalt oneself to that high a standard is to play with fire. There is only one God, of which none of us can hold a candle to His light. I pray he humbles himself. We know from Psalm 10:4, pride, leaves no room for God, so I pray all men humble themselves, and take inventory of their consciousness, when related to power. I pray they seek Jesus, and make him the leader of their pack. I pray that they seek counsel with God almighty. I know God is counseling each and every one who has misused their power, or who thinks they can, even for a minute walk on water. For if Peter had difficulty maintaining his faith, what makes them think they would not fail in their own strength. As Exodus 34:14 maintains, God is a jealous God. Worshiping anything other than Him, like money, power, or even ourselves, is not putting God first. Deuteronomy 4:23-25 warns us not to forget the covenant, and not to worship anything, in any form, except for Him, as he instructed us, because it will only anger Him. There is only one.

            1 Peter 5: 1-11

            Advice for Elders and Young Men

            1And now, a word to you who are elders in the churches. I, too, am an elder and a witness to the sufferings of Christ. And I, too, will share in his glory when he is revealed to the whole world. As a fellow elder, I appeal to you: 2Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. 3Don’t lord it over (boss people around) the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example. 4And when the Great Shepherd appears, you will receive a crown of never-ending glory and honor.

            5In the same way, you younger men must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, serve each other in humility, for

            “God opposes the proud

            but favors the humble.”

            6So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. 7Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

            8Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 9Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.

            10In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 11All power to him forever! Amen.

            CWB

               

              For the weak, and proverbial people # Stay strong

              For the weak, and proverbial people # Stay strong

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              Prior to my writings, I tend to jot down notes related to my subject matter. God moves me in the direction I should go, using devices such as scripture, or inspirational writings. Today, when revisiting my notes, I was confused as to which direction I had initially intended the piece to evolve. It was intended to be a piece regarding the difficulty in being a proverbial woman, but after reading the scripture, I had no insight on the matter. The guidelines according to scripture seemed straight forward. They were not unreasonable. So why had it been a questionable subject matter for me the week before? Still, not quite understanding the why of it all, I went to my bible app. I thought, maybe because I’d read it in one of those standard archaic versions, that this was the reason for my uneasiness relating to the subject, and why I felt it to be challenging. But still, nothing…  I then remembered how God, lately, was teaching me the art of submitting to my significant other, and so read Ephesians 5; but still again, nothing. Digging deeper, I recalled that week, I had also consulted the internet, and came across a blog written by a young woman who wrote a piece on “10 virtues of a Proverbs 31 woman”. It wasn’t until reading the note towards the end of her blog when the uneasiness, emerged once again. She shared how her husband had become ill, and out of frustration from his illness, was relieving his frustration onto his family, which in turn was making her home a not so happy one. And then it hit me. It wasn’t so much being a virtuous woman that was difficult, but the mountains that came against a virtuous woman, when trying to keep her home happy.

              My whole reason for blogging is because for some of us, life can be merciless. And if we are not grounded in some way, or another, it can take its toll. If I’m in a crowded room, I will befriend the person who is sitting by themselves, or who appears sad and alone. In Philippians 2:4 it says, “Look not unto your own interest but to the interest of others.” The funny thing about it, and what I just come to realize, I do this automatically. And it can be annoying at times. Who wants to always see the sadness in others. But this is part of my calling. The enjoyment of it all is watching someone light up when seeing the conversation has moved them in some way, by putting their life into perspective. But not all people have it this easy. Some of us have a whole lot going on, where simple conversation just won’t do. Sometimes the pain is buried so deep, one sit down, just will not do…

              I came across a book I bought for myself a long time ago called “The highly sensitive person,” by Elaine N. Aron. I had forgot all about this book, but obviously, at some point in my life realized my shortcomings. I am a totally different person now. I still have my sensitivities, but I don’t display them for target practice. Or at least, if it is used for target, it no longer pierces my heart. With the help of both my Heavenly Father, and my earthly father, I learned that I was born a strong woman, and should not take to abuse when exploited. But as Paul discovered in 2 Corinthians 12:10…, even though we may endure unpleasantries, when we stand with God, he gives us the strength to persevere. We become stronger, despite our sufferings. His spirit enveloping us, makes us strong. And so, with this strength, we should then use it to help others. In Romans 15, it explains we shouldn’t shy away from helping others when they are weak. Their weakness merely represents the lack of spirit in their own life. If through our shortcomings, we are made strong, this honor is a gift to be used wisely. Not in vain, but to be used to help others be strong.

              Being exploited, in any way, where you are at a disadvantage clearly marks you as vulnerable, and unfortunately labeled as weak. So many of us encounter situations, or are in relationships which at times can be trying, or uncomfortable, to say the least. But when we find ourselves in positions such as these, it is time to yield the virtues of a Godly person, and persevere. Thessalonians 5:15 says, “encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, and be patient with everyone.” In effect, pray for those who persecute us, so they may be made strong as well…

               

              Colossians 3: 12-17

              12Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, 13bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if someone happens to have a complaint against anyone else. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also forgive others. 14And to all these virtues add love, which is the perfect bond. 15Let the peace of Christ be in control in your heart (for you were in fact called as one body to this peace), and be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and exhorting one another with all wisdom, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, all with grace in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

              CWB

                To Tell the Truth

                To Tell the Truth

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                When we confront others with the truth, you never know how they will receive it. Just the other day, my daughter thanked me for my honesty towards a situation, in how her approach, when struggling through her teenage years a while back, appeared distasteful. We joke about it (now that she understands), but she struggled with it for quite some time. She didn’t fully understand the severity of it all. We often reminisce of her years growing up as a child; and she shows appreciations towards my parenting skills. This was not the first time she revealed her gratitude regarding this particular subject. And again, I believe because it took much time to comprehend, is the reason she revisits it often. Not to mention, the humor of it all. When she first revealed her gratitude, I, myself was grateful just knowing I’d helped her. In all honestly, at the time, I merely thought my actions were that of a mother looking out for her child. I didn’t want her to continue to think, her mannerisms were ok. I felt like she needed guidance. It kind of threw me off guard this time though, when we reminisced. I imagine, my being in such a different spiritual place, than I had been previously, made me think, or rather question my choice of words. And not that they were harsh, just very explicit, and to the point. This time, though, when she stated her gratitude once again, I was grateful my words didn’t maim her. Words can be so harmful if received out of context, or distributed with the wrong intent. If it were not for her knowing, unequivocally, my intentions and the magnitude of my love for her, she honestly could have taken my words out of context. It was not said in malice, but out of love. I always wanted her to make her own choices in life, but I felt to do this, she needed to understand how her actions might affect her life, as well as those around her.

                In relationships, we may jeopardize its endurance when we introduce honesty into the playing field. But if we use the word of God as a foundation for our intentional truths, and pray, we must trust that God will do the rest. As written in Psalm 32:8, He will instruct us, and teach us the way we should go in a loving manner. I believe that if we come from a loving heart, God will give us the right words to counsel our brethren. My words allowed my child to become a better person. Sometimes we think criticism is not necessary. But it is. How else then, can we grow. For me, I’m a passionate person. And being the passionate person I am, every now, and then making a point often goes hand and hand with raising my voice an octave, or two. It sometimes appears as if I’m angry. But, because people in my life (who, either loved me enough to tell me the truth, or were just too tired to endure what they considered abuse), helped me to understand that I could make my point without raising my voice, I learned to control my behavior. I embraced the advice, which was given out of love, and was mature enough, not to treat it as a threat (although, honestly when it was first presented to me…, for a second, it was my initial response. I then, stepped outside myself, and took a look around). In Proverbs 19:20 it says, “Listen to advice, and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted wise.”   And though many of us may be fortunate to accept change, for some it may not be as easy. For when administering this advice, we fail to consider their past. Behaviors which have been instilled in them for years, may be very difficult to turn around. People in their lives have enabled their behavior. My parents never saw my enthusiasm when I was younger, mainly due to my wise nature…They were into slapping (or at least making sure the behavior never became a habit), and I, assuredly was not going to appear unwise lest I be slapped for my higher callings. The one time, I did try my mother, I was old enough, or so I felt, where I could afford a slip, or two of the tongue. Though, because of years of training, without effort on her part, I later apologized.

                So as wives; husbands; mothers; fathers; sisters and brothers; family and friends…, how do we take on this responsibility without jeopardizing our relationships? Or should that even be a concern. You hear so many stories of families and friends who do not speak to each other for years. It is in these misfortunes we realize Gods words when stressing the importance of forgiveness. It is also misfortunate that not all of us are equipped with this knowledge, nor the love of God. Or have even experienced Christianity as the foundation of our life. In saying this, one would think our guidance of truth is only as good as the degree of this pertinent knowledge the person receiving the endearing truth possess. But prayer is powerful. And in these instances, with the power of faith, mountains can be moved. As in James 2: 14-17 makes plain, if we have faith, but choose not to utilize this faith in helping others, then our faith is just as good as dead. We should not fear what our words might do if, one; we are acting out of love, and, or two; we have faith God will give us the appropriate words to act upon. We have a responsibility. Imagine this world if we took fear from our hearts, and stood with God, when we couldn’t stand by ourselves. I commend the women who are stepping up today, who have been taken advantaged in secrecy. It’s hard to take a stand, or admit occurrences in our life when you don’t believe others will side with you. Wrongful actions are wrong. If we know this in our hearts, we should have faith that God will provide a way to prevail. Yes in some instances, it is said to let God be our vindicator, but as I see it now, it depends on the degree of transgression. Someone treating me unfair, I let go and let God. I pray for them. A child going astray, I first pray, and pray some more. And when God gives me the opportune moment to speak (and he will, and you will know when He does, for our children also need that courtesy to be addressed appropriately), I speak. For I know, those prayers prayed, prior to this moment, have filled my spirit to say what is right, and be victorious in what is presented. For those women, they found their opportune moment to speak… And no doubt, with patience, victory was won. I don’t know if they prayed, but I’m sure in God’s eyes it didn’t matter, for it was time.

                I have seen prayer work alone without the heartfelt words… But if the person feels like they are right, and they are not hearing the conviction of the Holy Spirit then it will take time. Unfortunately, we do not make the lives of others easy, when we overlook their apparent confusion, illness, or misconduct. But one thing is certain, as disciples we cannot, nor should we stand by in silence for the sake of our own honor (Corinthians 3:16). For we are here to honor God, first, and foremost. And with this honor we built a relationship based on faith, and trust. It is with these two confidences, we go forth believing, for good. For as my mother so often recites, Romans 8:28, we know all things work together for good for those who love God, and who are called according to His purpose.

                 

                CWB

                Corinthians 3:12-17

                Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

                  77- “Just in the nick of time”

                  77- “Just in the nick of time”

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                  In my journey, there have always been signs where God ordered my steps. These signs helped to remind me, I was not travelling alone. They were the reasoning needed, when confused by my circumstances. They were the confidence needed, when I did not believe I could do it on my own. They were the hand on my shoulder, which assured me everything would be ok. Just as Paul received the Holy spirits guidance, and admonitions in his travels through the various cities, so too the Spirit directs us now. And even though, with me, his presence was evident…, at the base of every mountain, paranoia and uncertainty always manages to set in when the tests seem too overwhelming. I’d wonder to myself, “Did I hear Him right?” “Is this really what he wants me to do?”  Great at the beginning, mind you… Gung-ho in every way… But when the fog starts to roll in, and I cannot decipher which way is which, oh my goodness, how my faith begins to plunder… With what little trust I had left, I ‘d find myself praying, “Lord, help me to be obedient, if this is truly what you would have me to do,” especially when it would take long to manifest. I’d say, “Lord, if I have misunderstood, please tell me what is it that you want from me.”

                  We are all human, with human tendencies. So, it is ok to slightly loose it, as they say, because the moment we do, “Loose it”, it’s God’s time to do His happy dance. It’s time for Him to show out! Last week, in my moment of plunder, I turned on TBN (It’s so weird when you hear a word being spoken, and you know it’s for you. You’re like, “Wow!”). It was James MacDonald who gave me the jolt this time. He said something to the effect, to let God do it in His own time. And on time, He was…, sending me a word, right when I needed it. Though I am getting better in my obedience…, listening to the Holy Spirit, not being afraid to step out of the box, this has been the longest of all hauls. It’s always the end of the test that gets to me. Impatience can appear unbecoming in our walk, but nonetheless, God loves us. He shows us through our test, that once acquired we will be stronger, able to weather the storms with a deeper sense of hope (Romans 5:3-4).

                  So, to understand my impatient circumstance, January of this year, (this story starts in 2014, but I’ll start from here, so as not to confuse you) after three years in Florida, my fiancée and I found a church, and began attending on a weekly basis (Yes… three years…That’s another story. And so is the fact I am living with my fiancée, and not currently married). The very first service was… I can’t even describe it, but I never felt such a connection, in the way I did that morning. It was the second, or third service of the year, and the entire church was participating in a ceremonial fasting. The pastor began telling the congregation of how the year before, he had promised himself, he would start on his book (first sign), but was, I believe he said a little disappointed, because he had not had the time to begin (It startled me because I was like, “Me too!”). Then (second sign), he started to speak on being pregnant (in the spiritual sense), and tears, just overwhelmingly started rolling down my face. As it happened, it was not long ago I had declared the very same thing…, “Being pregnant.”  I originally received this after listening to Joel Osteen. Pregnant would mean being filled with an expectancy, or better yet, a knowing that something was about to occur. My expectancy lay dormant for quite some time, because for me it was just a dream, a thought perhaps, but nothing that would ever manifest. But now because of all these validations of recent thoughts and conversations, I could see now, in some way, or another, it possibly becoming a reality. And though this was only a minute piece of the dream, for me, this was confirmation, given to me by the Holy spirit that it was time, as T.D. Jakes says, to “Get ready.”  Then, still not completely there (having a hard head and all, and still taken aback that anything, of what I am experiencing is even happening), he for some reason began to speak on moving (third sign), which at the time was the core of any, and all conversation revisited numerous times for us. We were having reservations concerning our living arrangements, and so, at one point in our many discussions, I stated God wanted us to move. Mind you, this being the second time, I was directed to leave a city (last time in 2014), Like Paul, in Acts 20:22, by the direction of the Holy Spirit, not knowing what was to come, I knew, just as I obeyed then, I was going to obey now even if it meant leaving my love behind. So, at this point you could imagine how fast my head was spinning, when Pastor Lonnie mentioned “move.” I couldn’t see straight, much less walk straight, for I knew it was time, once again. I was so filled with God’s presence, I think I literally slapped myself when I arrived back to our vehicle. Literally!! And he (my fiancée), laughingly, was like what the heck is going on with you?” … He was laughing… I was laughing, and crying at the same time (my usual reaction when I’m afraid or overwhelmed) …  I would say this was the height of my spiritual journey. And then, the whammy! The ultimate sign, “77”. Now I can’t remember all that was said, but he was teaching us the meaning on how this was the year of 7. But regardless of what I cannot remember, what I do remember is God was trying to tell me something.

                  Long short of it, after much deliberation, God sent the final sign…, transfer papers for my fiancée to move to Charlotte, North Carolina. “And there I was driving down the highway turning off highway 23, onto ……, get this!!…Route 77…. It took a quick second before I realized the significance, and the biggest smile showed up on my face. I was like “Wow! “There it was!! Highway 77. And, if that wasn’t enough, little did I know, Irma was not very far behind. Every time I would be asked later, “Where did you move from?” I’d say, in awe, “Florida, and just in the nick of time”.

                  Paul had reservations regarding whether, or not he should share his stories of the Holy Spirit’s assistance in his life (2 Corinthians 12: 1-12). For him though, I believe it had more to do with the way in which the Holy Spirit engaged him. Safe for me to say, I did not transcend into another realm, though the moment certainly had me in a frenzy. I don’t know much of anything accept what God leads me to discover. For me, I feel, if one person can receive an ounce of what has filled me these past years, I would be grateful. I don’t believe we realize, again, the Holy spirit is alive. For myself, earlier in my life, I always have known Him as a friend, a consoler, a warm spirit. But never like this! If God uses me to move the next believer into such a state as this! It’s well with my soul to boast of His presence in my life.

                   

                  CWB

                    Thank you!

                    Thank you!

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                    First, I just want to give God the glory! I may not have received what I wanted this week, but God be the Glory, he was here with me, every step of the way, holding me up with his righteous right hand.

                    I started feeling sorry for myself this week. Thursday, I said to myself, ok, if the job fell through, it must not have been what God had planned for me. Deep down inside though, I was still down, but managed, with the grace of God, to pick myself back up, and move on, to other possibilities. The following morning, Friday, as I routinely flipped on my morning worship programs, I heard Joel Osteen say; “Do you trust him with the close doors”? and…, “Stop trying to make sense of it all” … Lord have mercy, if God did not send his disciples to minister to me that morning. All morning long, nothing but tears welding in my eyes. Message, after message sent to heal my woes. Joyce Meyers with her, “But will he do it for me (this being the tip of the iceberg, for I had questioned this only moments ago)?” You see, when I was raising my little girl, many years ago, a voice spoke to me, and said, “I’m only looking out for you now, because of your daughter.” In other words, don’t get comfortable, because there will be a time when I’m not going to look after you, and then what? Will you trust me then? And now, as it echoed in my mind, I questioned God and those words from long ago. Was it God? Was it Satan? Or, was it God giving Satan permission to test me? …  I do not like to be uncomfortable. Who does? …So, I’m like, “God I love you with all my heart, and I am grateful, so please, no more testing”. I used to think to myself with all the ridicule, with all the tribulations I undergo, I must be insane to keep believing, and to keep trusting in Him. But like Job, I keep hanging on, because now especially, I realize, “What would I do without this spirit which lives in me?” This spirit who is my father at times, and my friend in others. He saved me from crashes, both physically, and mentally, which I saw coming! So where would I be if I let go now. I could not, no more than Job could. I used to say, “I don’t care what others are going through.” I know my circumstances aren’t the most traumatic of all. That I’m not living in a third world country. And, yes, my abuse is not one of a physical nature. But it is real. It still exists for me. But still and all, who am I, to ask why! “Who am I?”  It’s crazy, though, because in justification for my circumstances, I can now say I am blessed to be tested because of who he has made me to be. I am blessed to know, and to feel he is in me, when most people do not even realize his power and his ever-present spirit. I called Him, He heard me, and He came … I am blessed!

                    It’s funny. Looking back in my life, I remember finding myself relating to Job and his circumstances. Though never fully understanding the story, I did know, he found himself in a situation, he didn’t believe he deserved to be. But I can say today, I understand. I know God knows my heart, so he knows how grateful I am for everything he has done. But, as much as we’d like to forget, traumatic experiences, they do not go away. Especially, if they are of those which cannot be explained. So, partnered with the words whispered in my ear many years ago, and my current circumstances, confusion set in, and left me hardened. And I questioned… I questioned my welfare. And I questioned His love. And then I heard Creflo, who was hysterically funny, raise the question, “Who are you?” … “Who are you to question?” After which he sang the spiritual, “No, one knows the trouble I’ve seen,” and brought me to my senses, laughing along the way. I am nobody, except somebody who does not like to be tested. But because he has kept me at bay, meaning, he has given me just enough to stay afloat, I grew weary with the testing. I was never fond of the process anyway, even when I was in school. They made me nervous. So, you want me to trust you… trust me, I’d say! Ask me God, if I’m ready! I’ll tell you … I’m ready (Yeah… I can be a little sassy, which is probably why he thinks … I’m not ready)! But with all this testing, comes vulnerability. Past circumstances which have not fully healed, just show up out the blue. Memories which still have me scratching my head. Like many people, I have a slew of, “What in the world was that?” circumstances. Unfortunately, instead of dismissing the memories, I let it fester, once again. And as confusion set in, I ask the inevitable questions; “Why, … Do you not love me,” “Am I not worthy enough?”, “What have I done wrong?” So, I found myself forgetting everything I stood for, and everything I believed. God loving me, protecting me, feeding me so that no worries would consume me. Remembering how many times he saved my life, because he loved me.

                    Thank goodness, for at least I can say I don’t feel convicted anymore when things fall through. Lessons on humbleness, I’ve learned, hardcore for the past three years. Again, God is a great teacher. The lessons are tiresome, but he gets you to where you need to be. If you listen, and are open and honest with yourself, you will learn a great many lessons from him. You must go raw though, and be willing to unveil truths about yourself you may not want to admit. As for employment, I work for God now. If he can wash feet, then so can I. Jobs do not define who I am, although it’s still somewhat difficult to swallow, when others ask what I do, especially since now it seems like nothing (I never give myself enough credit). Deep down, I imagine he is pleased. I’ve grown immensely. But again, I give the glory all to him. The voice was right in one respect, though, everything which I received, when I became a single parent, was by His grace. I just misinterpreted the message…the way it was said made me feel as though, “I” did not matter. but I do… “Hmmmm… God is good” … “Thank You” …….

                    So, the message, and lesson for me was twofold. One, you must continue to love him through the storms of life, and not question his motives, for he is “for us”, not against us, despite what it seems. And two, while you are trusting him in these times, do not worry, for he will make a way. He always does. Pray. Talk with God as you would your friend. Put him first. Give him the Glory, and He will, show up.

                    Matthew 6: 25-26,33 -34

                    “Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

                     

                     

                    CBW

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