Responsibility

When we confront others with the truth, you never know how they will receive it. Just the other day, my daughter thanked me for my honesty towards a situation, in how her approach, when struggling through her teenage years a while back, appeared distasteful. We joke about it (now that she understands), but she struggled with it for quite some time. She didn’t fully understand the severity of it all. We often reminisce of her years growing up as a child; and she shows appreciations towards my parenting skills. This was not the first time she revealed her gratitude regarding this particular subject. And again, I believe because it took much time to comprehend, is the reason she revisits it often. Not to mention, the humor of it all. When she first revealed her gratitude, I, myself was grateful just knowing I’d helped her. In all honestly, at the time, I merely thought my actions were that of a mother looking out for her child. I didn’t want her to continue to think, her mannerisms were ok. I felt like she needed guidance. It kind of threw me off guard this time though, when we reminisced. I imagine, my being in such a different spiritual place, than I had been previously, made me think, or rather question my choice of words. And not that they were harsh, just very explicit, and to the point. This time, though, when she stated her gratitude once again, I was grateful my words didn’t maim her. Words can be so harmful if received out of context, or distributed with the wrong intent. If it were not for her knowing, unequivocally, my intentions and the magnitude of my love for her, she honestly could have taken my words out of context. It was not said in malice, but out of love. I always wanted her to make her own choices in life, but I felt to do this, she needed to understand how her actions might affect her life, as well as those around her.

In relationships, we may jeopardize its endurance when we introduce honesty into the playing field. But if we use the word of God as a foundation for our intentional truths, and pray, we must trust that God will do the rest. As written in Psalm 32:8, He will instruct us, and teach us the way we should go in a loving manner. I believe that if we come from a loving heart, God will give us the right words to counsel our brethren. My words allowed my child to become a better person. Sometimes we think criticism is not necessary. But it is. How else then, can we grow. For me, I’m a passionate person. And being the passionate person I am, every now, and then making a point often goes hand and hand with raising my voice an octave, or two. It sometimes appears as if I’m angry. But, because people in my life (who, either loved me enough to tell me the truth, or were just too tired to endure what they considered abuse), helped me to understand that I could make my point without raising my voice, I learned to control my behavior. I embraced the advice, which was given out of love, and was mature enough, not to treat it as a threat (although, honestly when it was first presented to me…, for a second, it was my initial response. I then, stepped outside myself, and took a look around). In Proverbs 19:20 it says, “Listen to advice, and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted wise.”   And though many of us may be fortunate to accept change, for some it may not be as easy. For when administering this advice, we fail to consider their past. Behaviors which have been instilled in them for years, may be very difficult to turn around. People in their lives have enabled their behavior. My parents never saw my enthusiasm when I was younger, mainly due to my wise nature…They were into slapping (or at least making sure the behavior never became a habit), and I, assuredly was not going to appear unwise lest I be slapped for my higher callings. The one time, I did try my mother, I was old enough, or so I felt, where I could afford a slip, or two of the tongue. Though, because of years of training, without effort on her part, I later apologized.

So as wives; husbands; mothers; fathers; sisters and brothers; family and friends…, how do we take on this responsibility without jeopardizing our relationships? Or should that even be a concern. You hear so many stories of families and friends who do not speak to each other for years. It is in these misfortunes we realize Gods words when stressing the importance of forgiveness. It is also misfortunate that not all of us are equipped with this knowledge, nor the love of God. Or have even experienced Christianity as the foundation of our life. In saying this, one would think our guidance of truth is only as good as the degree of this pertinent knowledge the person receiving the endearing truth possess. But prayer is powerful. And in these instances, with the power of faith, mountains can be moved. As in James 2: 14-17 makes plain, if we have faith, but choose not to utilize this faith in helping others, then our faith is just as good as dead. We should not fear what our words might do if, one; we are acting out of love, and, or two; we have faith God will give us the appropriate words to act upon. We have a responsibility. Imagine this world if we took fear from our hearts, and stood with God, when we couldn’t stand by ourselves. I commend the women who are stepping up today, who have been taken advantaged in secrecy. It’s hard to take a stand, or admit occurrences in our life when you don’t believe others will side with you. Wrongful actions are wrong. If we know this in our hearts, we should have faith that God will provide a way to prevail. Yes in some instances, it is said to let God be our vindicator, but as I see it now, it depends on the degree of transgression. Someone treating me unfair, I let go and let God. I pray for them. A child going astray, I first pray, and pray some more. And when God gives me the opportune moment to speak (and he will, and you will know when He does, for our children also need that courtesy to be addressed appropriately), I speak. For I know, those prayers prayed, prior to this moment, have filled my spirit to say what is right, and be victorious in what is presented. For those women, they found their opportune moment to speak… And no doubt, with patience, victory was won. I don’t know if they prayed, but I’m sure in God’s eyes it didn’t matter, for it was time.

I have seen prayer work alone without the heartfelt words… But if the person feels like they are right, and they are not hearing the conviction of the Holy Spirit then it will take time. Unfortunately, we do not make the lives of others easy, when we overlook their apparent confusion, illness, or misconduct. But one thing is certain, as disciples we cannot, nor should we stand by in silence for the sake of our own honor (Corinthians 3:16). For we are here to honor God, first, and foremost. And with this honor we built a relationship based on faith, and trust. It is with these two confidences, we go forth believing, for good. For as my mother so often recites, Romans 8:28, we know all things work together for good for those who love God, and who are called according to His purpose.

CWB

Corinthians 3:12-17

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; ¹³ bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. ¹⁴ But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. ¹⁵ And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. ¹⁷ And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.